At this time I live in another county not in my own country which I was not only born and raised in but also protected and educated from. If I have never left my country, I would not realized that I have been protected and socialized by Korea. Now I'm feeling that I am definitely and inevitably Korean.
Today something happened which remind me of the fact.
Korean guys are normally regarded as very stubborn and arbitrary. Also they themselve believe that's the true man. Frankly I had laughed at the kind of thought.
But I've never realized that I'm well broken in the way of guys.
I might be stuck on that kind of Korean. It is really hard to take the truth though.
How I realized it is because of the apperently opposite reaction to my absence today.
Well... Korean men thinks that eventhough a person who is in sickness says it's alright to be alone, they should visit the person because of affection or sympathy. And they carry on what they believe.
On the other hands, other people who profess oneself to be influened by western culture or whatever ask the person whether he or she wants them to visit or not. If he or she says "no thanks" once, they never ask it twice. And that's it. they set themselve free from any responsibility for the relationship beween people.
Some people might feel the former case could be thought of rude or something like that and the latter case is much better cool. And that might be true.
But... I realized the reason why I cannot help avoiding being Korean is I have the expectation of the former. I dont even know I have been thinking about it. Even though I can reason the latter relation will make it cool, my mind has already leaned on the former. It doesn't matter of which one is right or wrong. It's just culture which is practically functioning on real life.
I have to choose one whether lowering my expectation or going back to my country if I really want to be comfortable.
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